Jock's Jocks

I often think I could redesign everyday objects, just to make them a little more user-friendly, or even useable. One such object is the trusty tome of travel directions, our very own Melways. Every driver I know has a Melways wedged under their seat, in their side door or even that special empty spot on their back seat. A Melways can even take preference over friends; "I'm sorry mate, I've only got room for three, you know, with Melways in the back seat and all."
They are hallowed institutions, and enjoy sitting on the same throne as other worshipped symbols such as comb-overs, socks with thongs, and little hats for dogs.
Nothing's perfect, and the Melways is no exception. Every Melways I've owned, borrowed, or seen in other people's car has the same hubris - they fall apart as easily as a pair of Dunlop Volleys.
Sometimes the pages that have come out disappear entirely, and so for example, after getting close to one's destination, pulling out the Melways and working out how to get to that barbecue you're late for, it's the only page missing. That or you've blown your nose with it and chucked it out.
The cover always comes off, there are strange stains over destinations, it's just getting to be a problem.

When the Melways has really reached the end of its life as a street directory, it doesn't mean it has to be retired to the bin. Here are some top-tips:

1. Randomly pasted pages all over your walls as some sort of clichéd student bedroom wallpaper.
2. Pasting all of the pages together on the ground to recreate a whole map of Melbourne, then using it to play Micro Machines.
3. Folding the pages in half and turning them into lovely cards for that special person, giving them the page that their house is on, and making it a pseudo post-modern self-improvement-find-yourself piece of crap.
4. If you run out of pastry, maybe the pages could be used to finish off a lasagne or the rest of those sausage rolls, perfect for when trying to recreate the taste of Melbourne if you happened to be in another country.