Jock's Jocks

A lot of people get a fair way through their lives and say that they always wished that they could have done something differently – one of those comments made in hindsight. My parents and grandparents say that they wished they had learned a musical instrument, and when they say this I automatically respond with the tried and true cliché, “well you know, it’s never too late to start.”

As I was going through my teenage years, I played the saxophone, but eventually got to the point where I didn’t really enjoy it, however my parents kept saying “you’ll regret it later on down the track if you give it away now.” All these years later, I guess I’ve discovered that they’re right; I did stop playing the sax but I still kept it, and now that I appreciate jazz and blues music a lot more, I can pick it up the sax and really enjoy playing it.
It’s good to think about these things early on, as I want to make all the necessary preparations to ensure that in twenty, thirty or forty years time, I won’t regret having not tried done anything. This means trying new things, continuing with my music and art, and maybe even learning a strange tongue from a hidden dwarf tribe nestled deep in a forest somewhere.

However, when I think about the different things I want to learn to do before I die, there are a few notable talents that come to mind. One skill that I’ve never been able to master, or even bluff my way through, is re-wrapping the butchers paper that bacon or ham comes in. I’m talking about when you go to the deli section of the local supermarket and ask for say, 200 grams of bacon rashers. They put it in the plastic bag, using the classic ‘inside-out’ insertion method, which allows the handler to avoid touching the food product with their hands yet it still goes in the bag when they flip it inside-out. The real magic comes when they place the bag onto the pile of butcher’s paper then effortlessly wrap it, where the end result being a lovely well-wrapped parcel.

I’m unable to replicate this perfect process at home, and every time I re-wrap the paper, I might as well have scrunched it up. If anyone can write in and share any similar wrapping stories then that would be great. When I get to 70, I want to be able to say “I’m so glad that I learnt the piano, did some acting, and mastered the art of butcher’s paper wrapping.” What grandkid wouldn’t be proud of that? It’s not like you can use an ancient lost language used by forest dwarves when serving up brunch on Sunday morning, but you can impress your grandkids with your sought-after butcher’s paper re-wrapping techniques.