Jock's Jocks

One of the current debates filling the education airwaves is that of the consumption of junk food in canteens as well as outside the school grounds.
We saw Jamie Oliver tackle the issue of crap in canteens with his hit tv show whose name I don't remember. Filling the bain maries with delicious healthy food for little horizontally challenged kids to devour was a great idea, but I think that only happened at school. Did it change their dietary habits at home? That means the parent's need to adopt a healthy policy, and lets be honest - it's far easier to whack a hash brown in a frying pan and a meat pie in the microwave/oven than to prepare a wholesome curry.

Someone mentioned in the rag today that maybe kids and parents need to take some responsibility for their own eating actions, and quite frankly I've tried that and it isn't easy. I've gone from eating curries and other vegetarian fare to toast and meat pies; before I know it I've slipped back into fat bastard mode, and it happened right under my nose, just like the lovely aroma of a piece of shit pie containing dogs cock and horse's ass. Imagine getting kids to change their diets? I remember when I was a kid, I just wanted to eat fairy bread and cocktail frankfurts (did my parents think I was gay?). Juxtaposing that with rice and vegetables makes it a pretty choice, thumbs up to the bread for fairy's and small red cocks.

Here is my solution, and one that doesn't involve a lot of thought and it works using the simple theory of basic economics. Imagine if you were the parent of a fat child and walked into the supermarket, worried that he might be getting a little overweight after his chest tightened when he decided to run down the hallway the previous day. You think you should try to include more vegies than you normally do, and maybe not cook them until they've mashed themselves and you've covered them with salt - nature's version of cutting your own dietary wrists.

When you walk throught the entrance you can't help but notice everyone looking white and shocked. As you walk to the vegetable aisle, you see that everything is in fact replaced by candy and chips. You are a bit dumbfounded, and you check the juice section and realise instead of orange juice, there is just an endless see of full-fat cola, and you have no choice but to fill your trolley with fatty crap. It's like this for the next month and by the end of four weeks, everyone is sick, miserable and people are giving greengrocers a furtive hand job for a couple of black-market bananas (wink wink).

You see, the idea of taking away all healthy food works on the premise that if people just ate shit for a month, they'd get so sick of it that the sight of another doughnut or jam fancy makes them feel nauseous. It's a perfect example of supply and demand, as there would be no supply of healthy food, and by the end of the 30 days, demand would be soaring for fresh vegies and tomato juice. Watch the world as they live their very own Super Size Me piece of shit movie.